Emerge...Letting it Go to Allow the Good to Flow by Kinyatta E. Gray

I have a funny little story that turned out to be my liberation.

I had been tossing around the idea of cutting my hair for weeks. I picked out the color and style after spending countless hours searching the internet and figuring out if I was warm-toned and whether or not my new hair color would compliment my beloved red and pink lipsticks.

I was rocking gorgeous blonde braids during this time, added to my shoulder-length natural brown hair. My hair had grown incredibly long over the last few years.

It was time to take the braids out, and once I got them out, I decided to reconsider that short blonde look after all. My hair had gotten thicker and a few inches longer -- lengths I hadn't seen since I was a little girl.

Needless to say, I had a problem. I wanted two looks simultaneously.

After five long hours, I was relieved that I could finally throw my head back and stand in the shower for what seemed like an eternity to allow the water to run through my scalp, then the shampoo, and then the deep scrubbing.

That was the beginning of my "emerge." I emerged out of the shower with hair locked and matted as I had never seen before. I pulled, tugged, brushed, combed, and pour a whole bottled of conditioner in my hair --- 2 days in a row. But to no avail.

I was so focused on my hair's outcome that I didn't focus on the process. The process should have started with the meticulous detangling of my hair after wearing the braids.

It was at that moment that my mind went back to what I had been sharing with the universe and Julie -- that I wanted to cut my hair. However, it was no longer a choice; it was a necessity.

I didn't spend one minute of my life wishing that it wasn't a necessity. I embraced it as a significant life change that I needed to propel myself forward.

As I sat in the salon chair watching my hair chopped off and fall to the floor, I waved goodbye to bad memories, goodbye to sadness, goodbye to hopelessness, goodbye to strands of hair that reeked of depression, and quite frankly, all kinds of antidepressant drugs.

With every chop, I felt a release.

I emerged out of that chair, brighter, better, and with a shade of blonde hair that has garnered me the "blackblondebombshell" title. I emerged confident and ready to face whatever comes my way. I emerged knowing that whatever was weighing me down had been released and that I have the power to design my future.

You see, had I not cut my hair, there would not have been any changes -- sure, my look would have changed, but there would not have been a release -- the release I so desperately needed.

Everything happens for a reason.